Sex 

 

Freud is famously quoted to have once said that all men think about sex every few seconds, or was it minutes. Whatever it was and if he did say that then he was quite a foolish bloke. I can only suppose that he noticed a phenomena that is well known to anyone who studies people's habits and wonders about what drives them.

Sexual considerations and instincts seem to be an integral part of so much that we do that we end up not even realising that it is happening.

Take cars, for example. We all know the words used to describe a new sleek car have more than a passing similarity to the way we would describe a sexually attractive woman. Yet logically how can a car, a tin box on wheels driven by a set of cleverly connected guns, ever be "sexy".  Why should black underwear be any sexier than white. Or red cars than gray ones. I've even heard computer hardware described in loving terms! It is so important to us, that the ad men recognise it as a major selling point for almost anything from beer to bog roll. It is easy to see why we sometimes have clouded judgment, or are reluctant to admit that we need information or have a problem. What should be a simple intuitive act with a few social rules thrown in has become surrounded by myth, secrecy and misinformation.

Sex for men takes many forms. Sex can be enjoyable with a woman, with more than one woman, on your own, or with another man (or men etc. etc). This of course is a matter of personal preference and generally what happens in private between two or more consenting adults (if you don't fully understand what consent is see "a man's view" on the women page ) is their affair. Unfortunately for us in this pleasure seeking world, anything that's this much fun can bring it's own problems.

"IF YOU PUT YOUR ROD IN ENOUGH PONDS YOU WILL EVENTUALLY CATCH SOMETHING." This old fisherman's saying (told to me by an old fisherman) may be true...but it is also true that you catch one fish from one cast. "Doing it" unprotected one time is probably the commonest way to catch something you didn't want.

 
Most sexually transmitted diseases are spread in this way because people are unprepared or off their guard, such as after drink. There has been so much publicity lately about HIV and AIDS that we are in danger of forgetting that there are loads of much more common things out there waiting to be caught. Here is a list of a few that are available to anyone regardless of gender, colour, orientation or age; chlamidia, syphilis, herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, and trichomonas vaginalis. (cool names, eh?) You may or may not know if you catch one of these, although there are some symptoms worth looking out for, they should send you off to your G.P. or special clinic like a bat out of hell.

Rather than giving you a list of symptoms to remember, you need to report any change in appearance in your pants area like spots, rashes or blisters, any change in sensation like pain, itchiness or burning, or any change in output, like blood in urine or semen, discharges of any sort or having to go to pee more or less than usual. Remember these; sensation, output, appearance. Soap is quite a good mnemonic, as it's when you're washing and bathing that the opportunity arises to examine yourself - I hope it will remind you.

You can reduce your chances of catching most things to almost zero by using a condom. Used for this purpose, they are contrafection rather than contraception, although they do of course prevent pregnancy as well. They are not 100% safe - notably many people catch genital warts from others despite taking precautions. Warts need treating at a special clinic, to stop them spreading to others; they are caused by a virus which is difficult to kill. It is important to nbote you can have a sexually transmitted illness with no symptoms or signs at all, or they can come and go, even though the infection doesn't come and go too.

 

 

Details of local clinics are in the directory under "sexual health" You can go without an appointment to any clinic, even outside the area where you live. What happens there is strictly confidential, no one will be told about your visit, even your doctor or your family unless you specifically give your permission. Of course you may be asked for details of contacts so that others can be traced and treated, but you are not compelled to give them. Any contacts you do name will not be told the source of the information, nor will anyone else. As if these diseases aren't enough there are other things which can affect our sex lives alarmingly, both physical and psychological. Try the links to other sites for more details.